Ok, full disclaimer, I haven’t yet finished this week’s episode. We got half an hour in, my husband couldn’t take it anymore, and by the time it was time to go back and watch, I was too sleepy, so maybe this complaint won’t make sense in the full light of a complete episode, HOWEVER…
This has been making me CRAZY forever. And Sam Merlotte, I’m looking RIGHT AT YOU. You know what would fix your problems 99% of the time?
This would.
Roar! Shut up, CRIME!
See how simple that is? You’re a DINOSAUR. Now NO ONE can bother you! Hate that pie chart? EAT IT! Someone kidnapped your woman’s kid/puppy? EAT THEM. I’m just tired of all this pussyfooting around! (No pun intended because even if turning INTO a cat would help you, you’d rather just sit and whine.) Only NOW do you realize that turning into a bug to spy might be useful? Christ, man. You’re the WORST SHIFTER EVER. You’re making me like, Horseflesh level angry.
Lasers, DAY 1!
Just GET IT TOGETHER. USE YOUR POWERS PROPERLY, everyone! And if your powers are stupid, like orgasmically popping 5 babies out at a time, just KEEP THOSE TO YOURSELF. Ok? Ok. I mean, look. I’m still watching. I haven’t abandoned things. I’m still of the hope that in the last novel, Sookie and Bill will get back together and the show will see just how great that is and follow suit, but you’re REALLY testing my patience, True Blood! Just, do what I say! I have things to do, and I can’t be writing out new episodes FOR YOU. You’re just going to have to do it for yourself, ok? Ok. But, when you do, remember. Please ME. That’s what matters.
Back to the Attic
